Sabotage and Silhouettes has a deeper meaning that just two words thrown together to form a creative alliteration. Each word holds a significant meaning in the title of this book.
Sabotage is the deliberate damage, destruction, or obstruction of something. In this instance, it relates to my life, and possibly even parts of yours. The traumas that we go through, lead us to specific actions and emotions. When we feed into those emotions, we start to create chaos, sometimes intentionally and sometimes, unintentionally. Either way, we begin to self-sabotage. Whether we sabotage potential or existing relationships, important friendships, or even our own growth. We start to get in our own way. Many times, after the many losses I’ve gone through, I found myself sabotaging the very things that were sent to heal me.
Silhouettes are dark shapes or outlines of someone or something against a lighter background. Our dark parts. Especially in times of anguish or hardship. Through traumas, everything goes dark. The silhouettes represent the dark parts of our lives, our mentality, our soul. Even with light all around, a silhouette will remain dark, and the details are impossible to make out. This is exactly how I felt through all my dark times. I wasn’t myself for months, maybe even a year or so, but the silhouettes hid the details in the dark while the light was still shining all around me. It made it hard for people to ‘see’ me. And even harder for me to ‘show’ myself to those around me. I shut down. And everything became dark.